Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
