You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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