great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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