hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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