Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
is wine microwaveable?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
