I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
