ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
