Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
