it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize