That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
