I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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