all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
