Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
