Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize