i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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