Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize