I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize