I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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