Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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