You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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