porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
