i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
