we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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