Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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