In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
