is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize