he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
