my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
