Your tits are I can't wait for
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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