id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize