they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
