Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
