And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In America we eat man semen.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
