Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
