my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize