Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
