This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
