One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
