Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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