you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had to cum in my sink.
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