She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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