He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Never joke about your clitoris.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
