Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Help. Why am I so naked?
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