:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize