I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
two words...techno handjob
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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