I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
