I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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