dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
