Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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