This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
