well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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