It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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