I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
