he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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