She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
