i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
