it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
