Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize