I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
