So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
