great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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