They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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