If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
